Thursday, August 6, 2015

Movie Review: The Expendables 3

Just viewed The Expendables 3, and I can remember the entire script even after only one watching.

"He's one of us. We gotta break him out. You in?"

"Yo."

(15 minute action sequence. Things blow up.)

"We gotta new job.  Got your guns?"

"Yo."

(30 minute fight sequence. Things blow up.)

"The bad guy . . . ain't he supposed to be dead?"

"He needs to be. Let's do it."

(30 minute fight sequence. Things blow up.)

"That SOB's got half our team. We gotta get 'em back. You with me?"

"Yo."

(45 minute action fight sequence. Things really blow up.)

(Denouement: a bar. Drinking. Man hugs--even from the women woman. Vocalizations that resemble human speech. Credits.)

It's OK to mute this movie if things blowing up get too loud. Any dialogue you imagine will probably be better than the original. Or you can just read lips. Yo.

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