The Art of Talking to Strangers

Having ridden across America on Amtrak now quite a few times, I’ve had the chance to sit next to, to break bread with, and to share life experiences with total strangers, people I will meet one time and quite possibly never again. 

This experience has been an education--both on the content level of learning about others’ lives, and on the process level of the dynamics of interacting with strangers. I don’t think I have anything new to share, nor have I learned anything new. My interactions have, however, reinforced and made me more consciously aware of some basic fundamentals of communication. 

Listen before sharing. 

Listening sends a positive message to those I am interacting with, that I am interested in more than my needs and my options. It also provides me with information, which allows me to more artfully chose what I say. It's pretty hard, really, to offend others by listening to them talk. 

Find common interests. 

We actually have quite a lot in common with other people. Entering a conversation with the intent to enjoy that which we have in common creates a unifying experience. Amtrak seats strangers together at the dining table, and sitting down with the intent to have a pleasant meal and conversation--and then acting on that intent--has effected many pleasant shared meals. And it wasn't hard. It was mostly monitoring my conversation to be inclusive and not excluding. Self-monitoring one’s conversation is a skill that gets better with practice, I can tell you. 

It's not necessary for others to agree with you. 

There is no need for indignation if someone has a different point of view, not in a social situation, anyway. One can deflect or move on rather than debate or argue. Even if the person across the table is a dumb ass, there's no need to point that out. You wouldn't be believed, anyway. 

There are some communication situations that aren't just random meals with a stranger. This election year is a good example. I’d say then to 1) self-monitor, 2) maintain a rule of politeness, 3) stick to ideas and facts, and 4) be ready to stop. Remembering to listen is probably a good idea, too. 

Avoid (or tread lightly) when traveling rocky trails. 

My dad always said the best way to have a nice chat was to avoid the topics of politics, religion, and sex. Anyone following the recent presidential debates can see what happens when one places these three topics in a bag and shakes while on national TV. With a stranger, it's best to focus on parting on cordial terms. For someone we know, it's best to focus on parting on cordial terms. Hard words create hard hearts, both in speaker and listener. 

The best way to change our environment is to change ourselves. That is where we have the most influence. Better to part with a good feeling on both sides, better to find common ground. If the person across from us ain't that kinda person, then it's best to remember who we are rather than who they aren't. 

It's always best to fall back on what my momma taught me: “There's no excuse for bad manners.” Time to bite my tongue. If it hurts, serves me right. 

(Written on Amtrak, nose to my iPhone 6+)

Amtrak and Colorado River Rafting

It seems to be a tradition for Colorado River rafters to amuse Amtrak travelers. While on the train traveling east, I saw many folks floating down the Colorado--and one woman chose to pull up her top for the travelers, and one man chose to moon us.

This, of course, was from some distance, so it wasn't a case of too much information.

I did videotape the rafters and made a short visual chronicle of the observation car's perspective. In the car, a couple of musicians did some pickin', which added to the relaxed and celebratory atmosphere. I was also provided the opportunity to rip the sound from the video and to just lay down the sound for the project.

Here is the video. It even includes the exhibitionist woman--tiny rafts beached and tinier humans.


I have more YouTube videos on my channel.

An Amtrak Zephyr Video for My Grandson

After making an Amtrak video of the Rockies Mountains with fall colors, my wife told me that my grandson had really liked the video. The next morning, I decided to make another, more tailored for a child three years old.

How did I do that? Why, I put in images and clips of as many trucks, trains, and earth movers as possible. Not a case of less is more but of more is more!

I also selected a more rambunctious sound track for the video. I've also tried to make all my videos around a minute, for sure no more than two minutes. I'd rather leave a viewer wishing for more than having to plod through till the end.


I have more videos at my YouTube site. I shot, edited, and shared this with my wife with my iPhone 6+.

An Amtrak Autumn Video Experience

Traveling the Amtrak Zephyr through the Rockies was especially beautiful this time with all the aspens yellowing.

With my new Apple 6+ iPhone, I wanted on this trip to not just watch movies on the phone (or phablet, as some say), but to also make some movies. I also wanted to do some writing, but I'll cover that in my next post.

The iPhone camera and video are easy to use, and I'm getting more and more familiar with the features of  iMovie, the smartphone's video editing app. I wouldn't call making movies writing, but the creative experience does seem to grease the wheels for writing.

The immediacy of the process was also satisfying--to be able to shoot video, create and edit the movie, and then send the finished video to my family was great fun.


I have found that it is easier to load audio music to the phone prior to traveling. Finding and downloading uses quite a bit of time and data usage on the phone, and receptivity can be spotty. It was much easier to just have possible tracks on my phone. I used audio from the YouTube site, and on this trip made sure all the possible tracks were ones not asking for attribution.

I also uploaded the videos to YouTube first prior to embedding on this blog or posting on Facebook.

Being in the Body

There's a certain joy in the functioning of the body.

Take a breath and feel the lungs inhale; in and out, the beautiful breathing of the body, oxygen for the flame of our living.

Turn the head and enjoy the give and take of the muscles, their stretch and pull. How wonderful to move, to have the desire to act and to fulfill it! To walk, to reach, to touch, to give and receive--these are acts of exquisite grace and depth, actions not merely utilitarian but possessing intrinsic value, the dance of the joy of being.

All the senses--sight, hearing, touch, taste, and smell--are not just pathways for gathering information. No, they are our means of experiencing nuances of the joy of existence and our means of expressing the infinite aspects of who we are. Through our bodies and senses we sing the call and response of life. This is a joyous reality, a joyous moment, a joyous infinity--a joy unbounded.

Mind perceives, emotions feel, the self recognizes itself in experience. and experience in the self. Our cup runneth over with goodness and grace forever.

To have a body and to be alive, to have senses capable of such subtle discernment and a mind of such far-reaching inclusion is a most precious gift, the gift of our birth.

There is no act so small that it is not great, no experience so minute that it is not exquisite, nothing received that is not worthy of praise, nothing given that is not priceless.

This is our potential, our birthright, what we are because we have body and mind.

When we gain a body, we have an obligation to fully become ourselves and to celebrate life. The heart beats. In and out, we breathe the world, and it is good. 

(Note: These thoughts were written with an iPhone 6+ at 5 AM while on the Amtrak Zephyr, somewhere in Nebraska, heading home.)

Sunday Bicycle Ride with My Montague Navigator at Riverbend Park, Oroville, California

It is such a joy to be able to travel by Amtrak with my Montague Navigator folding bicycle. Arriving at Oroville, California, to visit my family, I'm able to still take off and enjoy the ol' hometown of my birth in a slower, more enjoyable manner.

Chores is the theme of this visit to my parents--painting and driving almost every day. I've been riding some short rides of 3-5 miles, but the last two days this weekend I've gone a bit longer on my rides--twelve to fifteen miles. Today is Sunday, and I rode to Riverview Park along the Feather River.

I started with the 5.5-mile ride into Oroville. Stopping at the Subway for an avocado and cheese sub, I then did something unusual and stopped by Lots'a Java for a hot white mocha coffee. Riding to the river park, I ate half the sandwich and drank about two thirds of the coffee. (I tossed the rest of the coffee, wanting to sleep some tonight.) I then rode along the river on the park's trail for several miles. Returning home, I had a wonderful three and a half hour ride, finishing my sandwich when I arrived home.

Here are some photos of the day.

On the way to the river: California poppies in April

Just after stopping for a snack. Winter-pale but spring-happy.

On the Feather River trail--along with many others.

A pond down river from the park. Note my Iowa-white legs.

Just an Oroville boy fitting in: safari hat, "homeless" basket, and bandolier bike chain.

Love the Mediterranean climate foliage and the river sounds.

 I'll be taking my folding bike back to Iowa in a few days, returning by Amtrak. Spending a week and a half on the sofa in the front room of my parents' mobile home, it's good to get away on the bicycle and enjoy a little exercise, fresh air, and silence. It's been a beautiful spring visit.

Copyright 2014 by Thomas L. Kepler, all rights reserved

Amtrak Again: Iowa to California--refining the process

It is a faint blush of dawn, just west of Winnemucca, Nevada, and the rhythm of the tracks provides a background melody to my typing.

I am about twelve hours away from completing my Amtrak train journey that lasts a little less than two days, including a lay-over in Sacramento and an Amtrak shuttle bus to my parents' hometown.

I've been refining my traveling ways this last year, having spent eight months of the last year away from my Iowa home.

I sit in my coach seat, a small pillow supporting my back while I keyboard. To my right in the window seat is a small ditty bag with a few extra clothes that I use while sleeping--the bag tucked into the curve of the reclined seat to lessen the angle and strain on my back, the pillow supporting my neck. My longest sessions of sleep come from this position during the night--Lazy-Boy luxury.

I am traveling to visit my family in California, and I'm focusing on bringing as little extra clothing as possible. I've bought clothes in California that I keep there, freeing me from having to pack a duffle bag full. Also, I'm collecting bicycling accessories in California so I don't have to pack tires irons, a multi-tool, tire pump, helmet, and such back and forth. My goal is to eventually transport only my Montague Navigator folding bicycle, a small underseat backpack, and a little almost-empty duffle. And if I can eliminate the duffle, that will be great.

I've bought shaving gear to keep in California, so I'm traveling hirsute this trip--a clean shave just before leaving and two days' growth at destination's end. I'm not too scruffy, since I'm not one of those guys who shaves and still has a blue tint to the face. (It would be more of a grey-white tint for me now, anyways.) I think I look okay. After all, I'm not teaching. I like to think of it as a limited, modified Jim Bridger look that fits in with my journey into the West.

A great deal of weight I carry onto the train is food. I'm working to lessen that, but I will still always have some. The Amtrak Zephyr does have a full meal service, and I eat breakfast and lunch, eschewing dinner because I don't want a heavy meal before sleeping, not with so little exercise.

I have been carrying water for the two-day trips. The snack bar sells water, though, so one way to lessen weight and bulk is to buy water at the snack bar. There are also water dispensers on the train. Check off one item. The snack bar, in addition to Amtrak's full-meal service, also sells some vegetarian food, so I can probably bring a little less food.

Some foods I will continue to bring, though. I plan to continue carrying a blanched almond and raisin mix--heavy but healthy nourishment. I have been bringing four apples with me and plan to continue doing so--again, healthy food in spite of the weight. Chapattis and cheese sticks are a great snack, especially with carrots, so those foods stay. Yes, food is weighty, but eating familiar, healthy food is a great way to make the trip more enjoyable and less draining. One good thing about the weight of the food--it lessens as the trip progresses.

The morning is still backlit by the sun that has not yet risen over the snow-topped mountains to the north of the train. The desert is colored with muted tans, faded greens, and the blondes of bleached grasses. The Zephyr passes through the sere beauty, lights on the distant slopes from isolated homes.

This trip is easier than the last trip that I made in January. I'm learning how to sleep better in a coach seat. I'm finding all the amenities provided by Amtrak's Zephyr--not the least the plug-in sockets at each seat. I'm settling in so that I can do some writing while traveling, such as this blog post that can be uploaded when in wireless range with my MiFi. Because I have recently retired, I enjoy Amtrak's slower pace, lower price, and the ground-level scenery. I also don't miss the frenetic pace of airline security and the high "people per square inch" (PPSI) count. I've found I've even acquired a few tricks that I can use when traveling by air.

Looking out the coach's window to my left and behind, the mountains are silhouetted a charcoal grey, the sky above a golden-reddish glory. Soon the sun will catch me. The Zephyr sounds its horn at an upcoming crossroad. An arroyo unwinds to the south, a sandy, serpentine memory of rain. The steepest peak to the southern range of mountains is bathed in sunlight. "It's a beautiful day beginning," sings the rhythm of the tracks.

I listen as I type.

Copyright 2014 by Thomas L. Kepler, all rights reserved