I have edited to page 157 (Chapter 13) of the 213-page manuscript.
I believe I am meeting the goal of this read-through of rounding out the supporting characters.
Susie (9th grade) is becoming more aware of her actions. She is choosing to have fun, be a cheerleader, and to enjoy this stage of her life. She isn't apologetic for that.
Beth, her sister (11th grade), is seen as more aware of possibilities beyond high school. She realizes that many high school relationships will evaporate upon graduation, and she doesn't want her relationship with Randy (the main character) to do that.
Gwen is seen more in interactions with the sisters, emphasizing her life beyond her connection with Randy and his issues. This strengthens and elevates her role in the novel.
All these female characters are characterized more independently and not just as how they relate to the main character. They are allowed to be, in ways, more insightful, self-sufficient, and mature than the main character. This really frees Randy to realize that his decisions also need to be self-referential.
I am finding that just a few more words can fill in a characterization, can provide insight for a character's words and actions.
Regarding the ellispis:
I've found some variance in punctuation standards in my research but am getting the main idea. My final stop before fiddling with InDesign is to talk to my publishing guru and friend Allen. Hopefully, I will be able to set up a Find/Change and then press the "Change All" button.
The Ellipsis (by R. Ann Siracusaa: a pdf referencing Ann Stilman, "Grammatically Correct," Writer’s Digest Books, 1997)
Ellipses...why we love them...how we abuse them (from The Blue Quill)
Copyright 2010 by Thomas L. Kepler, all rights reserved